It's tough to love your friends sometimes.

Man, this one hardly makes any sence. Let me put it this way: I went through a time where I pushed my friends and family away so I couldn't eat. Instead of relying on God fully, I relyed on sinful ways to "deal" with the pain I went through. Some people told me it was dangerous, but I didn't really care at that point. I didn't stop talking to my aquantances, because I could mask it from them, but I did distance myself from my friends in an attempt to "be free". When I did talk to my friends I didn't really listen to them because I was trying to mask my emotions (this only worked for so long), and when it stopped working I avoided them even more to avoid coments that rooted from their deep worry. Looking back I never hurt people who I didn't care about: I hurt the people who I love, the people who loved me.

I didn't have to wait long- after I started getting closer to God again and reorganizing my life- to understand. It took maybe a couple months. It was slightly scary to see a good friend who has a simular personality to me, go through pretty much the identical thing. It wasn't difficult to love her, I felt deeply concerned for her. It wasn't hard in the "I don't want to love her cause I don't like her" sort of way. It was the, "It hurts a lot to love her, I feel helpless, but I wouldn't change it.".

Funny thing is both situations left me feeling helpless, though I admit in very different ways. What I've come to realize after reflection is that it's nice to be helpless. Okay now you all think I'm crazy. I think it's nice that God controls our lives, and not us. We mess up a whole lot more than God does, and he ususally uses even our mistakes, to benifit somebody in some way later. I have to say that I don't feel this way very often during a conflict. I'll read Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." and be like "Yes God, but you know it is easier when we can see." Jeramiah 29:11 "For I known the plans I have for you", Declares the Lord, "Plans for your welfare, not to harm you. Plans to give you a future and a hope." is comforting. Admittingly all of this is comforting, but it's not easy nor do we tend to remeber it in the midst of a problem.

The thing is there needs to be a balance. It's like if a Christian dies, yeah they're going to Heaven, but you can be sad. Jesus wept. It's okay to be upset. In fact it means that we care (which is a good thing), but we should always have hope. Nothing is too impossible for God. I've scince met a lot of friends who have had really intense stories. Most of those people have recovered and are now using those experiances to help other people. I have a habit of praying (even before a situation comes up) for wisdom, hope, and faith. Sometimes it works.

love vs. hate

You know that person who has to be tough to love? Yeah I'm talking about that person who you know hates your guts and tries to pick a fight all the time. That person who just knows what annoys you most and does all they can to achieve that. That person who makes you have to take three deep breaths before saying anything remotely nice to them.

I know I know, you're thinking I know I'm supposed to love them. It's a little dry to just say that and walk away.

That is why I'm not going to just say that and walk away as if that will get anyone anywhere. Something that caputured my mind was a book called love is a verb.

It was saying love isn't just a feeling or emotion. You don't have to like somebody to love them. You have to respect them and be caring and treat them like a person. It also said love wasn't always easy. It was an inspiring book. It got me thinking about this one girl in perticular. Months ago she had made it more than clear that she didn't like me before she really even met me. At the time I hadn't understood this, but I had later started to realize there was a reason that I couldn't do much to control. I apologized for what had happened, but prehaps that just hurt her. She seemed even more upset with me for quite some time. Months passed and nothing had been resolved though I periodically felt bad that nothing had been truely awnsered. I had to wait until things changed anyhow. She was never that girl who annoyed me. I've had to struggle with hatred, but she was never one of those people who I was tempted to hate. As much as she put me down for something I couldn't control, I felt compassion. But it was tough to love her all the same. I still don't know why that is I felt so much compassion. What I do know is after I read that book I knew I had to try one last time to make peace. A great deal had changed.

I didn't actually have the guts yet to go to the girl, so I explained it to her good friend (I knew she knew some of it). The girl's friend oppened up a bit, though I don't know her well, she didn't ignore me. She let me say hi and be decent with her. It gave me a little confidence and I started talking casually with her.

Soon I apologized to the girl. The girl said she was sorry ect. We never talked since then. But I do know we both said sorry (and meant it) and that the conflict had left. I knew that was an improvment.

I know from experiance you can't always be sucessful. It could have happened that we would never say sorry and nothing would change. I know that. I also know the period of time where we were in conflict were difficult and I had to pray to God and ask for love ect.

But God was with me that entire time. and i learned that even when it's tough you can love your neighbours.

new series: relationships and love.

hey everyone,

It's been far too long, but I really have thought a lot about some great series which I hope to kick-start. I've been working at an outreach camp at my church. The project is to reach out to the community. I've made a close friend- a fellow teen attending the camp, and I have found a place in my heart for some of the younger children. We're focousing on "the four big things.". The first big thing is that Jesus loves us. The second is that we're all sinners or "rebels". The third is that Jesus died on the cross for us and came to save us. The forth lesson is yet to come, but it's that we need to make a decision whether or not to let Jesus in our hearts.

As I've been working at this camp I've dealt with a lot of people. I've met people who are very sweet, but want their mom's- or those kids you get that you ask for an oppinion and they tell you what you want to hear even though they don't actually think that. I've met this girl who's had somebody very close to her diagnoised with a very serious illness. I've met kids who wish they could be lounging in front of the TV and their mom's just forced them to go to camp. I've also gotten to know some people that can be very loving, but are trying to find your limit and test you and how much you'll let them get away with. All in all it's been utterly exhasting. From the tears I cried being there for the children when something is (actually) utterly wrong such as the illness indirectly affecting one of the campers, to actually having to help take a child home for their behavior, to acting enthusiastic to try and get five year olds to play "simon says" when they think it's "too baby-ish" or "too boring", there are times when it's tough.

But it got me thinking about relationships. The whole camp is a) trying to encourage a relationship with God and b) trying to form relationships with other people. There are times when that's not easy, or when it costs literal money, or when it takes time, or when I have to pray to God to give me the strength to be patient and loving. But essentially this is all what's required of Christians. So my series will be on relationships. Now before you jump at me and say the whole Bible is based on relationships (which I suppose it is), it's not going to cover the whole Bible. It's going to start out with loving the people we don't want to love, then we're going to focous on friendship and what the Bible says about friendship, and then finally why our relationship with God is vital to really loving others.

love you all. you're sister in Christ,

Christina

hey everyone,

sorry it's been a while since I last wrote. I was coming up with some ideas for some series I intend to start in August.


Yesterday evening I attended the drakefest, to learn and to support the Romania project. http://www.theromaniaproject.com/site/ . I'm hoping to do a mission's trip with this project in the future and I thought it would be a good way to possibly support the current teams and learn about what goes on. On top of that yesterday morning I heard a sermon about the source in which we get everything (God through creation) and how we were blessed to be a blessing. It got me thinking once again about doing something to help someone else. And everyone can do this [even the poorest of people (money wise) can give somebody else something: be it a smile, a positive attitude]. But for us who are using computers and who do have money, we can give money as well as all this. For everything we are blessed with we can use as a blessing.


It's just as much a part of Christianity as praying. If your relationship with God is healthy you'll show the fruit of the spirit (love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance)

Love - "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him" (1 John 4:16). Through Jesus Christ, our greatest goal is to do all things in love. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

Joy - "The joy of the Lord is your strength" (Nehemiah 8:10). "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God" (Hebrews 12:2).

Peace - "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ" (Romans 5:1). "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit" (Romans 15:13).

Longsuffering (patience) -- We are "strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness" (Colossians 1:11). "With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love" (Ephesians 4:2).

Gentleness (kindness) -- We should live "in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left" (2 Corinthians 6:6-7).

Goodness - "Wherefore also we pray always for you, that our God would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfill all the good pleasure of his goodness, and the work of faith with power" (2 Thessalonians 1:11). "For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth" (Ephesians 5:9).

Faith (faithfulness) - "O Lord, thou art my God; I will exalt thee, I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth" (Isaiah 25:1). "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith" (Ephesians 3:16-17).

Meekness - "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted" (Galatians 6:1). "With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love" (Ephesians 4:2).

Temperance (self-control) - "But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love" (2 Peter 1:5-7).

(these verses are from http://www.allaboutgod.com/fruit-of-the-spirit.htm)

If our relationship with him is good the holy spirit will change us and we will produce this fruit. if we produce this fruit then we will be willing to serve in ways that are completely beyond human and sin. But I think for a lot of us the challenge is just picking somewhere to start and putting God before all the blessings he has given us. And I will address that hopefully tomorrow.

Let go.

My favorite book as a child is one where the little boy wants a pet and he keeps capturing all sorts of wild creatures and his mom says "If you love him, let him go, if he comes back to you, he's yours to keep". The animals always ran away and it crushed the little boy. One day his mom got him a puppy and said "If you love him, let him go, if he comes back, he's yours to keep." and he let the puppy go and it came back to him affectionatly. Looking back on the book I realize that the boy was probably a lot better off with an affectionate puppy who would interact with him than an insect or whatever wild creature. His mom was looking out for not only the animal's best intrest, but also her son's.

I think sometimes we're like that little boy and that mom is like God. I mean we are God's children and he does look out for us. But at the same time he knows a lot more about life and what's best for us. So sometimes what we want to keep, God tells us to release for a while at least. And it can sadden us, sometimes we have to give up someone because they died, or stop being someone's close friend because they were influencing you into falling. Sometimes God asks us to let go of love. And we don't always know why. God can take it all away as fast as he can give it to us. And he only puts us through trials so we can grow. He knows the plans he has for us, not to harm us, but to give us a future and a hope.
Sometimes we have a choice in whether to let go and sometimes we don't. Either way, it's for our good if God asks us to let go. So how do you know if he's asking you to let go? The bible is the word of God and ultimately anything that goes against God's word is somehing we should let go of. But anyone who knows the good they o'ught to do and dosen't do it is sinning. So if someone is called to be a missionary you have to let them go.

I think letting go, means putting God at the centre of your life and saying you don't know what's going to happen, but you give God the key to your heart and you will try to do his will and accept it and let in who God wants you too. It means putting your fears behind you because God controls every part of your life. Once you grasp that fully (and it's very hard. We will constantly work at it and fall) we will let go of what God tells us too. See God is in our hearts and often we want to please God and take into account what he says. But we like to feel in control. We have to give the key to what we do and who we let into our hearts, to God.

Trust.

kay so somebody told me the other day that they really wished they had a certain person's trust more than just about everything they don't have. Actually I've heard that a bit lately, but yesterday for whatever reason it stood out. And this is a really complicated topic because even if you try to earn their trust and do nothing wrong, you can't always earn trust, because of their own experiances. This isn't a guide to getting someone's trust because I can't promise that. What this is going to deal with is knowing what do with the situation.

Okay first off, whether you are deciding on whether to give the person trust, or respecting someone who just isn't trusting you, a Christain approach to the situation is needed.

Matthew 22:39 says And the second (most important commandment) is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' What does that mean? It means whether we decide to give someone trust or not, whether we loathe not being trusted, we still must love the person. Love is defined in 1st Corinthians 4-5. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Okay so you may be asking me, what I'm getting at: first off if you're dealing with lack of trust, you have to be patient, kind, and try to not be easily angered by the small situations that come around, because your relationships will persevere and are what you need to hold onto.

And if you are deciding whether to trust somebody, protect them from stumbling into sin, delight in the truth! If you make rules or don't trust do it because you are looking out for them, not because you are trying to get personal benifit from the situation. Yes you have to take into account who the person is. Trusting a friend who is known to tell all secrets and was an ex-theif, you're bank account number, might not be the best idea. It dosen't mean you don't love them, but it might cause them to stumble into sin. But at the same time don't hold it against people, or it becomes a record of wrongs. I think if you aren't going to trust somebody about something that they don't have past records of or that aren't likely there must be reasoning behind the thought. In any case no matter what you decide to do, you have to make it clear that you still care about the person and that they're not a worse person if they stumble and explain you are trying to protect them.

Because I think a lot of times people don't want to be trusted randomly.....but even if it's just a tiny bit of trust over something insignificant, it's the feeling that someone believes you and loves you. That's what everyone craves.

how to hear you're call:

hey,

okay so I know if you ask any Christian how to know whether to do something, they'll say "Well wait for his call. Pray and he will awnser" , but have you ever wondered if it's wordily awnser or from God awnser. I mean what if it doesn't directly come from the bible, but it's God talking through someone? what if it's the devil talking through someone? these questions are all so valid. And though I can't give you all the awnser, I can pass on the wisdom that the Bible says as well as a wise simile I once heard (taken from the Bible and expanded) .

Okay first of all, "debatable" Christian topics are not very debatable and I want to just make that clear first. In Romans 14: 5-6 it says "some consider one day more sacred than another, others consider every day alike. Everyone should be fully convinced in their own mind. Those who consider one day as special do so to the Lord. Those who eat meat do so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God, and those who abstain do so to the Lord and give thanks to God.

Verse 22-23 then says: "So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed are to those who do not condemn themselves by what they approve. But those who have doubts are condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith, and everything that does not come from faith is sin." This can be about anything that is not crystal clear in the Bible such as if Christian rock music is acceptable ect. If it says "Do not steal", then you cannot argue that because of you're faith you are going to steal for God. That would be dishonoring what he said.

Okay so what if it has to do with another aspect of life? Well personally I think that every aspect of life has to do with faith because everything we do should be in faith. That being said I heard a simile about hearing God's call. I mean how to know if something is wrong or right in the first place for you? Well I heard "Jesus is like our shepard and he will call to us if we're on the wrong path. But every sheep needs to know it's shepards voice or it will not respond. So like sheep, we must know God's voice so when he calls to us we can awnser." His voice is the Bible and it's something that even if you've read over 5 times, you can always learn from it. I say this because certain verses can start jumping out at you when you're going through a certain situation. Know you may say but if it's debatable it won't have clear awnser right? The thing is it sort of does. It can speak to you in a way and give you certain convictions, and to another it may speak differently.

self-esteem?

So maybe it's just because I'm in highschool, but I think we all struggle with the idea of self-estem. Pride can be a very sinful trap, which can be very decieving. At the same time, hating yourself can't be healthy. Well I think there are no clear awnsers, but this becomes a lot easier when we look at what God says, because after all- God's word is desighned to help us.

First I want to talk about how God created humans. Genesis 1:27-28 says "So God created human beings in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.". This passage in itself brings up a lot of points. Human beings were created by God and in his image. We all know God does not just make mistakes. Yes, we are broken because we fell, but God created us in his own image. In Numbers 14:18 it says "The Lord is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion (it continues to say that he does not leave the guilty unpunished, but now we have Jesus)". So we are torn people, but the fact is even in the old testament God still loved us and God created us in his own image. How can we hate what God has created? What God has forgiven? What God loves? We have to trust that God has a purpose for our lives and we are never too bad to fall into his arms. John 3:16 says "For God so loves the world, that whoever believes in him, shall not perish, but have eternal life." God is not about to give up on you for whatever sins you struggle with.

At the same time, whatever wealth we possess is clearly from him. The land we rule over, the creatures we rule after, those are all given from God. It is not because we earned it. It is because God gave it to us. We can not boast in riches, because they are gifts, gifts we should use to give back to God's kingdom in whatever way we're called.

Galatians 6:8 says "those who sow to please their sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; those who sow to please the spirit, from the spirit will reap eternal life." See whatever "good acts" we do just to please our sinful nature mean nothing to God, but whatever we do for the spirit pleases God. That's one reason why pride can be so deceiving Because we can say we did a noble thing, but it can be for all the wrong reasons. We can't judge how holy others are or compare ourselves to them, that's really God's job.

See my point is that we get everything from the spirit: we got created by the spirit, we please God by doing things through the spirit, and we get eternal life through the spirit. God cares about your sin, but he won't give up on you no matter what, and he'll always be there for you. That's more than you can say about any human. We get everything from him. Including our "self-esteem" which I always call "God's love for you". See if we learn to see ourselves as God does: with all our faults, but such a deep love......we have such a wonderful balance. Achieving that can be so difficult, but that's what we all need to aim for. See I want to get my value from how he sees me. In fact the world seems to crave that sort of love. "Someone who knows all my flaws and still loves me for who I am", God does that better than anyone else. So I believe that's what we should aim for.

when hope is lost:

In today's stressful world filled with exams, work, heartfelt tragedies, as well as spending time with family and friends, we can simply forget God. It's not that we're trying to ignore God, but life can be busy. Today I was listening to Carrie Underwood's Jesus take the wheel and as always that stood out as a reminder of God's grace. The link to the lyrics is here: http://www.elyrics.net/read/c/carrie-underwood-lyrics/jesus-take-the-wheel-lyrics.html . Today I decided to research it, and I found out that it was based on a true car crash ( http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1641183/posts ).

Now I know what you're thinking: why on earth would I let go of the steering wheel when my car is spinning on ice?
I was reading a blog today that pointed that out ( http://chalicechick.blogspot.com/2006/01/jesus-take-wheel.html ). I get where this person is coming from, but sometimes we're faced in situations where we don't have control. Sometimes we're placed in a car that we can't steer because of all the ice, but sometimes we're stuck watching someone dying and we can't do a thing about it, sometimes my mom has to deal with my little brother having strep-throat when she has a really important deadline for work.

I find the easiest times to get distracted from God is when we need God the most. When I was little I had to go to the bathroom in a grocery store, but my mom had my baby brother (he was then). I knew where the bathroom was so my mom sent me upstairs by myself, but she could see the floor from where she was standing. I liked elevators and insisted on going in it. The elevator was slow and I thought I was trapped in it! I started to panic and I totally forgot to pray because I was afraid I was going to die and that's all I could think about. In fact I was so scared I pushed the fire alarm button. I reasoned it would be a cry for help.....and pushing that button made me feel better, because I knew someone would help me. Even before anyone answered, pushing that button as a cry for help, made me feel better. Sometimes we're not going to get a quick fix, but we know that we can call God anytime and he will listen to our cry of help. Even if the pain doesn't go away, he'll help us through it and we know he will. I knew my mom would come (she did) and even if I was trapped I was confident she could help me. So how come we can't just push that button? How come we get so distracted?

Well I wouldn't have thought about pushing the button if it wasn't right in front of my nose at that moment. I was too worried. God is at work all the time, but sometimes we get so accustomed to it that we forget. And that's why we need little reminders daily. Things like putting a Christan song on your IPOD or having a prayer group with friends or reading the bible daily. Because it says that God hears your prayers in Jeremiah 29: 12 "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.", but if you don't call him for help and remember him, you won't get that inner peace. (Leviticus 26) ⁶ " 'I will grant peace in the land, and you will lie down and no one will make you afraid. I will remove savage beasts from the land, and the sword will not pass through your country. ⁷ You will pursue your enemies, and they will fall by the sword before you. ⁸ Five of you will chase a hundred, and a hundred of you will chase ten thousand, and your enemies will fall by the sword before you.

This dosen't mean everything will be easy, but "tis grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved" (amazing grace) really is true. With God we never have to be afraid.

What this blog is all about:

This blog is for Christians (or people seeking Christ) who want to make a positive impact in society. The goal this blog will try to achieve is helping people study the living word. We will then be able to start acting with the fruit of the spirit ("but the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and self control." Galations 5:22-23). This is not saying we will be perfect, because in Romans 3 it talks about how no one is righteous by themselves "All have turned away, they have together become worthless, there is no one who does good, not even one." (Romans 3:12) But our righteousness comes through faith "this righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe" (romans 3:22).

For anyone seeking God I encourage you to read Jeramiah 29:11-14. "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "Plans to prospere you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you" declares the Lord "and will bring you back to a place from which I carried you into exile". I believe that we're captive in a wordly view of things. The view that tells us that being sucessful is all about making money, but money never satisfys. I've heard some of the richest people say they still feel like a piece of them is missing. It's a real piece in everyone's life. But God will deliver you if you simply seek him with your whole heart.

All though we can't be perfect, we have righteousness if we just believe in Jesus. This blog is desighned to help people worship and live out their faith, because the world can be distracting at times. This blog is for people who are willing to read personal issues that are real all over the world, backed up by bible verses. I'm a teenager, but I'm old enough to know about the world and know what people go through. I've been through a lot, I've put things like not eating before God (I had an eating disorder), I've put things like school/work before God, and it made me so incredbly empty. This is a blog that will help keep us on track with our faith. And hopefully we can be a light to the world showing our fruit of the spirit.