I know I know, you're thinking I know I'm supposed to love them. It's a little dry to just say that and walk away.
That is why I'm not going to just say that and walk away as if that will get anyone anywhere. Something that caputured my mind was a book called love is a verb.
It was saying love isn't just a feeling or emotion. You don't have to like somebody to love them. You have to respect them and be caring and treat them like a person. It also said love wasn't always easy. It was an inspiring book. It got me thinking about this one girl in perticular. Months ago she had made it more than clear that she didn't like me before she really even met me. At the time I hadn't understood this, but I had later started to realize there was a reason that I couldn't do much to control. I apologized for what had happened, but prehaps that just hurt her. She seemed even more upset with me for quite some time. Months passed and nothing had been resolved though I periodically felt bad that nothing had been truely awnsered. I had to wait until things changed anyhow. She was never that girl who annoyed me. I've had to struggle with hatred, but she was never one of those people who I was tempted to hate. As much as she put me down for something I couldn't control, I felt compassion. But it was tough to love her all the same. I still don't know why that is I felt so much compassion. What I do know is after I read that book I knew I had to try one last time to make peace. A great deal had changed.
I didn't actually have the guts yet to go to the girl, so I explained it to her good friend (I knew she knew some of it). The girl's friend oppened up a bit, though I don't know her well, she didn't ignore me. She let me say hi and be decent with her. It gave me a little confidence and I started talking casually with her.
Soon I apologized to the girl. The girl said she was sorry ect. We never talked since then. But I do know we both said sorry (and meant it) and that the conflict had left. I knew that was an improvment.
I know from experiance you can't always be sucessful. It could have happened that we would never say sorry and nothing would change. I know that. I also know the period of time where we were in conflict were difficult and I had to pray to God and ask for love ect.
But God was with me that entire time. and i learned that even when it's tough you can love your neighbours.
